My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
