I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
