This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
