he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
