are you still at the devil's house?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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