D3 body, D1 cock
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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