4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
