I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
