May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
