Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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