I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
