So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
