put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
