Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
