just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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