Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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