Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize