Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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