Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
