He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
