in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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