Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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