hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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