Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize