apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
These tits shall not be calmed
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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