just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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