when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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