i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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