so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
