i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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