i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm at about main and main street
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
