I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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