OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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