My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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