he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
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I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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