Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
