Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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