I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
