yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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