the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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