so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
