I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
