I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
