I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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