I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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