It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
