No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
