i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
