Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
