She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
