even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
