Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
