found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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