I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i out mim tonsoeep
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