Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
