What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
