I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize