And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
