you guys were way drunker than both of me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
